Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"You can't change what I never chose."

Today, I am told, is National Coming Out Day.  I'm thinking that it would be a good replacement holiday for Columbus Day.  I'm so far and so long out of the closet that I don't even keep clothes in there any more, but I recently ran across something that made me think, particularly because it struck close to home. 

It's the story of Samuel Brinton, a young gay man who goes to Kansas State University, which is where I graduated from back in 1980-something.  K-State is in Manhattan, KS, hardly a hotbed of progressive thought, but it is still leaps and bounds ahead of most of the state simply because of the university.  The K-State connection is actually the only thing he and I have in common.  He was from a nothing town in Iowa.  He is out as an undergraduate college student, which I never was.  He had ignorant assholes for a family, I did not. 

What is remarkable about this young man is what he had to overcome--Southern Baptist missionary parents who literally tortured him in a futile attempt to make him straight.  The story is horrific, but worth watching simply because of what he overcame and what he became in spite of it.  Let's just say that those parents are lucky that the Menendez boys weren't their children. 



It's no surprise that most of the anti-gay rhetoric and activity comes from religious groups.  It takes a religion to whip up fear out of ignorance and to cling to myths in the face of common sense, common knowledge, personal observation, and science.  It's the business model for the roman catholic cult and likeminded evangelical protestant groups.  The Southern Baptist Convention is nothing but the American Taliban, a backward religion based on fear and ignorance.  I am continually amazed that the feeble minded persist in saying that homosexuality is a choice, when not one of them can or will identify the moment when they "chose" to be straight.  That's just wilful ignorance.  Living in denial and hiding in the closet is a choice, but being gay is not.  It can be hidden (sometimes more successfully than others, Marcus Bachman), but it's an immutable characteristic just as the color of one's skin.  It's ludicrous to believe that teenagers, at the time of life when "fitting in" is more important than anything else, would choose something that sets them so far apart from the mainstream and exposes them to being ostracized, ridiculed, and often much worse.  That defies common sense, in the way that only a religious belief can do.

Samuel Brinton is a senior now and he will graduate with a B.S. degree in engineering, a B.A. in vocal music performance, and a minor in Chinese.  He's received numerous awards and is obviously a good student.  They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so this is an incredibly strong young man.  What is really remarkable is that he has kept the door open to his parents, although they have not walked through it.  I secretly hope that he's hiding some bitterness and he secretly hates the bastards, but that's just me. 

On the dog front, Bo is doing well in his new home, and has attached himself to his new owner like velcro.  I am getting a new Beau on Friday, this one is a German Shepherd Dog.

3 comments:

Scott said...

Thanks for posting and expanding on the original. I feel enraged when I read how people mistreat, beat, rape and mind-fuck their children. Occasionally I am filled with happiness when I learn how some of those kids were able to fight through the destruction to become good, decent, well-educated people who contribute endlessly more to the world than their parents ever did. You can never empty your mind completely of that torment, though. I appreciate my parents more and more every year.

Anonymous said...

I'm not gay but some of the people I love most in the world are. I would never consider not loving them because of how they are.
The rest of the world needs to wake up and grow up. Good luck to this brave young man and all the others like him.

BudsBuddy said...

Wow. I really had no idea that this sort of thing goes on in America in the 21st century. Thanks for opening my eyes, even though the scene is pretty awful.