Thoughts on the Exodus

This is going to be rather long, but you don't have to read it and there are lots of pictures. Blogging is a self-indulgent activity at its core and I'm going to the core with this one.

Della is really quite sweet.

Puppies are flying off the shelves around here. Five have gone to their new homes. Seven remain as of this writing, but more will be going throughout the week. It's a good thing, but it does produce some complicated emotions.

Della seems to be fine with it. Yesterday the family who picked up Paulaner had their picture taken with Della, while they were holding the pup. She must know what's going on and she's okay with it. Erika had said that the timing of the adoption between 10 and 12 weeks would depend upon Della telling us that it was time and that's pretty much what happened. The adopters were anxious for it, of course, but no one pushed us on it. Della had been spending progressively less time with the pups, decreasing the length of each visit and then the overall number of visits. I would let her see her puppies whenever she wanted, but it was getting to the point that she was more interested in playing with Serena and chasing the shepherds, although she'd still keep an eye on the pups and bark a warning to the outside world. Instead of coming in and spending time with them and instructing them in proper puppy behavior, she would come in, do her inspection, and then was ready to get back out. Sometimes she would regurgitate her stomach contents to feed them, as if to say, "Here, eat this and leave me alone, I've got things to do."

Della is good with it and that's the most important thing to me. We've even accelerated the pace of the adoptions a bit, although a couple will still be with us until just after Labor Day. When asked how I'm doing with the puppies leaving, it's hard to say. It's good, they need to move on and start the new chapter of their lives. I had no intention of keeping them all or even keeping any of the pups. They need someone else to give them what they need now. But their departure leaves a void, there's no denying that.

We've been singularly focused on these puppies ever since we knew they existed, about two weeks before they were born. Everything has revolved around them, doing what we could to be prepared for them, to care for them after they were born, and to educate and raise them for the first couple of months of their lives. It's sort of like the rug has been pulled out from under us now that they are leaving. Not in a malicious sense, it's just that what we've been doing with all our time, energy, and devotion has suddenly ceased to exist. I've felt this way once before in my life, when caring for my first partner in the weeks before he died. Everything I did was focused on that. Every other aspect of my life was minimized or pushed aside for the time. Then when he died, I felt totally lost, without purpose, and didn't know what to do. Totally different circumstances obviously, but a similar all-consuming focus on a task that ended suddenly, and left me with a similar feeling of nothingness.

I remind myself that this task has always been, first and foremost, about taking care of Della. The puppies were important to us because they were important to her. She has always been the real reason for doing everything that we've done. The puppies are wonderful, of course, and I certainly came to love them. But I can let them go, whereas I couldn't let Della go. Della remains and she's very happy and that is really what fills my heart with joy and makes this all worthwhile.

The puppies have generated plenty of joy of their own. They have made twelve adopters very happy, but they have reached people far beyond the orbit of possible adopters. Their story has generated far more interest among far more people than I ever imagined. That's nice but making people happy is a side effect of rescue as far as I'm concerned. For me the focus is always on making the dog happy. There have been a few adoptions that I've made happen because I wanted to benefit the person involved as much as the dog, but for the most part we mean it when we say we are in it for the dogs.

So, here we are. We still have seven puppies waiting to go home but somehow I'm feeling like it's all over already. No separation anxiety or depression, just this void feeling. Tapering down is probably a good thing, coming down off a high without a crash. It's a relief in a way. We've been pretty vigilant about their safety and well-being, and it's nice to hand that off to someone else now. I feel like Della did that already, telling us, "I got them this far, you can take over now."

Everything will get back to what passes for normal around here, but we will all be forever changed by this experience.

Killian went home first and there are some
questionable characters in the home so
I went to check up on him. 

They were making him work for his food, but
he seemed happy and well adjusted.

Allagash went to his new home Sunday morning.

Paulaner wasn't scheduled to go until Monday
but they were coming out to visit on Sunday
so I encouraged them to take him then.

Della posed with the puppy thieves and
didn't seem to mind. That's when I knew
she was okay with all this.

Abita went to northern Virginia and she's the farthest away.
Remember Clyde? He's Abita's big brother now.

I'm holding Abita before she left Sunday afternoon.

Carlsberg (now Woody), has several siblings, including two
Danes, one of whom is still a puppy himself.

Carlsberg on his way home.

Della and Zeus out in the pasture.

Della, Zeus, Max, Serena, and Theo

Della and Serena sharing a crate.