I don't know what got into me this morning, but I was as blue as a boy can be. I started reading old blog posts and landed on the obit piece I had written for TJ, which made me cry all over again. Then it was Smoky, Sparky, and Trooper. And my mother. I had crashed emotionally.
I was reading comments on Facebook after one of the dogs' obits and found this quote that had been shared by my friend Shep:
That actually helped and it broke my emotional free fall. I got up and tacked up two dogs, Della and Theo, and we went out for a walk. The sun was out by that point and it was a pretty day. Yesterday and been dreary and tomorrow promised the dreaded "wintry mix" so today was the day to walk. Walking with dogs is best mood elevator I've ever found. It has never failed me and it was true to form today.
After two miles with those two, I came home and picked up Serena in place of Theo and set out for another walk with my two Danish girls. I hadn't walked Serena in a long time. She's not as demanding of it as Della and Maya and when I'm making decisions about who to take, it's often a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease. Maya and Della are both vocal and demonstrative about their needs and demands. Serena is pretty easy going. But I could tell that she really enjoyed the walk today and I need to get her out more often. Part of my hesitation is a reluctance to walk the two Danes together, but really they are pretty easily managed and I did have the gentle leaders on both of them in case I needed more control.
I took a break after the second hike and ate what turned out to be my evening meal. Then I went out again with Maya and Chase. Maya had been very patient and tolerant as I took other dogs ahead of her today. She was great to walk with Chase. He basically did what she did and I couldn't ask for anything better than that.
Posts
1 comment:
You take good care of yourself.
Everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong time to grieve -- there is just YOUR time.
A friend at work explained, following my mother's death, that "You could break down tomorrow, or you could break down six months from now." For me, it was more like three months after -- and it put me out of commission for well over a month. A week in a hospital. Lots of adjustments to my pharmaceuticals. My sister flew out for a week; another friend flew out for another week. Daily group therapy for weeks.
All of it is a blur, now. But all of it was necessary for me. Fortunately it all paid off. I had a lot of help climbing out of my "hole", and re-adjusting my world-view. Months later I spent a week at Cannon Beach, Oregon, with a superb view of the ocean and sunsets. I returned home feeling much more in control of myself.
Your path is your own. But don't discount talk therapy. Sometimes its really helpful to have a "guide" alongside when your path seems to lead into a hole. The Margo Hoisingtons of our world are priceless. Reach out.
Big hugs.
Scott
Post a Comment