May memorials

May was always my mother's favorite month. It held her birthday, anniversary, and of course, Mother's Day. And even more importantly, it was spring. May is the month where your gardening ambitions are most powerful and optimistic. New plants go in and it's just full of promise. May is a mood lifter. Of course not every spring day is a happy one for everyone. Sometimes the mood elevating aspect of spring is sorely tested and so it was this year.

It was May 1st when I got a call telling me that my oldest sister, Kate, had died suddenly from a seizure. She had a history of them so we always knew of, and feared, the possibility of another, but she was on medication and was continuing on with her life because that is just what you do. You can't let fear of death rob you of the life you still have. That was certainly my sister's outlook and it was a good one. Kate had traveled widely all over the world in the course of her career before she retired. She was making plans for more local travel this spring in a new RV and truck that she had recently purchased. 

Kate's death stunned her family and friends, me included. Although we knew Kate had a seizure disorder, she was so full of life that it was just impossible to imagine her any other way. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. You hear about the stages of acceptance of a death, but the one I hit on hardest for the first week or so was anger. Things were up in the air for a while, but plans eventually consolidated around a memorial gathering in Kentucky where she lived and a burial in Kansas in the family plot. That meant a couple of trips away from home during the busiest time of year, so I had to get my butt in gear with the planting, mowing, and yard work. I can't say that I enjoyed it as much as I have some years, but it needed to be done and having something that needed to be done was what I needed at this time. 

Kate's friends turned out for the memorial gathering in Kentucky, including friends from her college years, work colleagues from all over, and friends she had made in her active life of hobbies as well. I always knew that Kate was a wonderful person, but it was heartening to realize that so many others felt the same. People that she encountered in every aspect of her life had remarkably similar stories to tell about her, mostly that she was unfailingly straightforward and kind. 

We are headed to Kansas later this week for another gathering of friends and relatives.