It's not a minivan, damn it!

It's a K-9 Rescue and Transport Mobile Adoption Unit (KRATMAU). I can't say that I'm thrilled to be driving a vehicle designed for and marketed to soccer moms. I'd rather have a Jeep. And my other vehicle is truck, really.

When most guys get married, they give up their Jeep, truck, motorcycle, and/or boat in favor of a "family" vehicle, the mini-van. It's sad, it's embarassing, and I feel for those guys. I hope that the promise of regular sex will compensate for the ego crushing consequences of their lifestyle choice. One of the great joys of being gay is the ease and comfort of living with another man. At home we are free to belch when necessary; we can piss outdoors. There is no Laura Ashley bedding and no potpourri, anywhere. Accordingly, I was less than thrilled to be driving that symbol of heterosexual domestic bliss, the minivan. But, the damn thing is incredibly practical for rescue work.

I've taken out the 4 rear seats and installed a truck bed mat over the interior carpeting. This is much better for cleaning up after car-sick dogs. I've installed two crates with dual openings immediately behind the seats. They can be accessed through the sliding side doors and it's an easy step up for dogs that are reluctant or unable to make much of a jump. There is a piece of plywood slid in between those two crates, so I can carry two dogs that don't like each other without snarling and fighting in the crates. There is still enough space behind these two crates for two or three more dogs (four if they are small or very friendly), or two smaller crates if necessary. The height of the crates makes for an unobstructed view and provides storage space for leashes, collars, and a K-9 First Aid Kit. The rear window vents create a much needed air flow when transporting dogs directly from a smelly shelter. It is emblazoned with dog rescue signs and magnets, and there is no "My child is an honor student at ..." bumpersticker in sight.

So, give me a break. It's not a minvan and it's never even been anywhere near a soccer game unless we happen pass one on the way to a shelter. KRATMAU isn't a great name, however, I need a better acronym.

(The two dogs shown are two new shepherds picked up yesterday, Ricco and Jerry.)