Well, that sucks

As anyone in rescue can tell you, there are both highs and lows, randomly interspersed, sometimes so close together that they seem annihilate one another. One such day occured a couple years ago at a vet's office. I was there to hold a dog's head and kiss him goodnight for a final time as he was euthanized. With my eyes still red and wet from the tears, I went into the next exam room and picked up a new foster pup who had just been brought in for exam and vaccines. He covered my face with much needed kisses. My point being, that there is rarely time to process one event or emotion before you are forced to move on to the next.


Saturday was such a day. Samson was adopted. That's a joyous event, and nothing can take away from it. But today I also returned a dog to a shelter. That's a terrible event, a failure, something that we in rescue look down upon when other people do it. And I hate myself for it even though I think it was the right thing to do, or at least the only thing I could do. That is what we often forget about people we call "dog dumpers." Some of them are in bad situations, often not of their own making, and surrendering their dog to a shelter seems like the only thing they can do. I need to remember that and be a little less judgmental, because there are many people who would look at what I did today with the same contempt.


The dog in question is Nikki, a female German Shepherd from the Fluvanna County SPCA. It is my home county and I try to help by taking dogs from them when I can. It's a rural county and a relatively small shelter, but it is well ran-- far better than most rural Virginia shelters. They had called me before Thanksgiving and I had gone in to meet Nikki and agreed to take her when I got back to town. I went last Tuesday and brought her home. I didn't do much in the way of a temperament test of the dog, but I talked to the shelter manager who knew the dog. Nikki has a rep for being hell on chickens and cats, but was said to be good with dogs. However, at my house Nikki was very dog-aggressive. She would get excited and her excitement would explode in a burst of aggression towards the nearest dog. There was never any blood, but she had poor Bud so scared that he retreated into a crate in the shed for a day and wouldn't come outside. Bud actually pooped and pissed inside, which he has never done. When I would go out there, he wanted to come to me but wouldn't when she was around. Now Bud is a 100+ pound rottweiler. He has the biggest head I've ever seen and could have easily killed Nikki when she attacked him. However, Bud is not a fighter. He would defend himself as necessary and shake her off, but he preferred to stay away from her rather than fight with her. I could have tried her with other dogs, but I didn't want to put anyone else through that. Bud did nothing to provoke it and he handled it beautifully. With most other dogs there would have been a bad dog fight. She also broke a kennel gate and broke out of a crate, so it was clear she was going to be a difficult dog at best.


I've come to the point that I realize that we can't save them all and taking in a difficult dog takes away time and space from other dogs that I could help. I don't really feel guilty about it because I do think it was the right thing to do, but I do feel sorry to have failed this dog.