Confession of a dog hater

Nero

Bless me Mother Shepherd for I have sinned.  It has been half a dog year since my last confession. 

I have committed the sin of hate against one of your breed, the chosen kind.  His name is Nero, and I can't help it, Dog help me, I hate that dog. 

I hate myself for hating him because he's not a bad dog.  In fact he's a good dog and he will make someone a great dog.  But he is a terrible foster.  I feel even worse because the dog's only crime is loving me too much.  He wants to be with me, all the time, desperately so.  That's not so bad, what is so bad is the dog's voice.  He shrieks like a little girl, at the top of his lungs, when he wants my attention.  The attention he gets when he does that is never good.  I yell, throw food dishes at him, bang on his kennel to make him stop.  It scares him and shuts him up, but only momentarily. 

Fortunately he doesn't do it when he doesn't see me, so he's not a nuisance barker.  I have him in a kennel where I'm out of his line of sight as much as possible, but everytime I go out to feed or clean, he starts screaming, non-stop.  My blood pressure goes sky high.  I want to kill him.  It's loud, shrill, and ear-piercing.  It's actually painful.  I hate him.  If I was a new foster home and he was my first foster dog, he would also be my last.  But I know I have to stick it out, get him adopted, and move on. 

On the trail today, he walks beautifully.

His skin is finally improving, as is his tail.  The best thing for both of us, and the other fosters, current and future, is for me to get him adopted as soon as possible.  That's not going to happen while I still hate him, so I'm trying to change our love/hate relationshp to one of love/tolerate at least.  With that goal in mind, today I took him on my daily hike instead of Sparky. 

This is a dog that I can let out of the kennel around the yard and is one of few that I would ever trust off leash, including my own.  He sticks around because he's devoted to me.  I think I could have taken him on the trail today off leash too, but I didn't.  Aside from his devotion to his person, the dog has some good qualities.  He walked beautifully on the leash, sometimes in front but never really pulling, and sometimes in a perfect "heel" position next to me, or even trotting along right behind me on the trail.  We did a good hour on the trails and it's the most time I've spent with Nero without wanting to kill him.  

He stopped to eat a trail treat (horse manure).

The very trait that makes him such a terrible foster (the desire to be with me always) will make him a great dog for an owner.  He doesn't have separation anxiety, he's fine when I'm out of sight, but when he sees me he wants to be with me.  When we got home, I removed his harness while he was standing in the back of the van.  I turned him loose and he hopped out and ran directly to his kennel.  He's not a bad dog, just a bad foster dog.  I have to keep repeating that to myself.

Aside from his skin and 3/4 tail, he's not a bad looking dog.
The self-inflicted damage to his tail could be allergy or neurosis.
I hope the grain-free food and our hikes will help.

I'm going to take him to his first adoption event on Sunday.  I'm not sure how he will do because he's rather fearful of strangers (i.e., Clay) around here.  But it's time to start with him, get some good pictures, get him on the web, get his skin cleared up (he's off the presdisone now but still on antibiotics and a grain-free food), and hopefully find him a home where he will be loved.  I'll start walking with him on Sparky's off days, and I have ordered a bark collar that I hope will modify his barking behavior when he sees me.